Firefly in Japan on the Your-Japan Blog Network

Sometimes, I can be having a bad day in Toko. I have assorted sources of stress that sometimes band together, and take turns beating me across the head with 2×4’s. At these stressful times, I can be walking around Tokyo, or using a product, or buying a drink.

I then look down, and read the English inscribed on the item, which is often motivational such as :

"Today maybe the bad, but soon coming is for double you happy so be smile !!"

Tokyo continues to move and bustle around me, but I never fail to stop for a moment, and take in this disjointed message. Somehow, my stress floats away, and it feels as though this message is directed especially towards me. Like some Japanese guy with a dictionary in an office building somewhere knows my situation, and has spent 4 difficult, painstaking hours putting together this message just for me.

Whoever you are, Japanese guy, thank you.

Check this out. Funny even if you dont speak Japanese !

http://pine.zero.ad.jp/yori/shinbashi.swf

This is a fascinating aspect of Japanese culture. Jinglish. Japanese-ised English. Where did it come from? How could it possibly have pervaded every part of the country to the extent it has? It’s viewable on bags, in parks (see below), in convenience stores, on products, in brochures, in instruction manuals, on drink machines, on drinks, on buildings, on menus. Anywhere there is English in Japan, the spirit of Jinglish lives on.

This is just an amazing concept for me. I mean, if I was living in Australia, and I wanted to advertise in a foreign language, or USE a foreign language in an advertisement or product, I would go outside, find a native speaker of that language and simply ask :

"Hey guy, does this look strange to you?"

If the said person then fell on the ground in peals of laughter, and said "HAHAHA oh my god you’re not going to print that are you? This is a joke right? Theres a camera somewhere isn’t there? HAHAH OMG" I would naturally reconsider using that particular sentence.

This thought process for some reason does not seem to exist. I wish I could only see the meeting where this stuff is discussed.

Pachinko Boss So guys, hows that English ad coming along?
Pachinko Designer Guy Great!! We have been working for a while, and we have come up with the tag.
Pachinko Boss Alright, then, lets hear it.
Pachinko Designer Guy Happy Super Pachinko Power - We make happy guy lucky, we make lucky guy happy! Why not enter our oriential pathway for excitement with balls.
Pachinko Boss THAT SOUNDS INCREDIBLE. GOOD WORK.
Pachinko Designer Guy Thanks boss!
Pachinko Boss Ok, good work everyone. Have a good weekend.
Pachinko Some Other Guy *ahem* Um, hey… does anyone here speak English?
* Everyone looks around the room*
Pachinko Some Other Guy No shit. No-one speaks English. Hey, do you think we should perhaps, you know, check with an English speaker to make sure this is ok? I mean this goes in big letters right outside our shop in a busy district, right?
* Awkward Silence *
Pachinko Boss Get the fuck out.

I can only imagine this is how it goes. With the possible exception that "Pachinko Some Other Guy" does not exist.

Possible Causes

I will now hypothesise on possible Jinglish causes.

1. Since English is simply used to be ‘cool’, people dont care what mishmash of language is printed 40,000,000 times on their product. However since a strong idea in Japanese culture is to check with the rest of the group before agreeing on something, it would seem to make sense for someone to check with an English speaker right? This hypothesis doesn’t make so much sense.

2. Some people don’t like to admit they can make mistakes. Especially in English, where some people view their grasp of English as a status symbol in an office. So Mr Takahashi, the English expert (he went overseas for 2 weeks, and sometimes watches 24 with no subtitles), creates the English to be used in the project. When someone says "hey Takahashi-san, this English is ok, right?" he becomes indignant. "OF COURSE it’s ok. I watch 24 with no subtitles. Sometimes.". I could be way off the mark with this one. Does anyone know?

3. Actually I can only really think of those two. Can anyone else possibly offer any ideas?

I hope to encourage a lively and interesting debate with this one. Please be sure to drop a comment!

Today, I got into a taxi. I was in a bit of a rush to make a meeting, but the driver made a small mistake and we got stuck in traffic.

Due to this error, I ran about 5 minutes late. The tab came to 1,380 yen. The taxi driver apologised profusely, and when I tried to pay the bill, he would only accept 1,000 yen. I insisted, but he was unrelenting. We thanked each other, and parted ways.

Now that I have lived in Japan for a while, the line between Western culture and Japanese culture is starting to become blurry. I get the feeling this wouldn’t happen in Australia "Whoooops, missed the bloody turn mate! No worries I’ll chuck a you-i. Loads of bloody traffic too eh! That’ll be $20." But it’s getting hard for me to remember.

I think I need a good dose of western culture to set me straight. Perhaps I could find a mechanic to overcharge me, make excuses, fix my car late, and do a crap job. Home sweet home.

The other day, I went to a Starbucks in Jiyugaoka (theres 2). I ordered my coffee, as I do almost every day, since I drink a lot of coffee. I’ve been a big-time Starbucks customer for several years now. My coffee is handed to me with a smile and a cheerful ありがとうございます！, and I head upstairs.

I’m planning to get through some work, since it’s a quiet Saturday morning with no disruptions. By habit, I sit next to a powerpoint, in case I need some extra juice. I sip my coffee, turn my laptop on, and start working.

An hour later, my battery runs out. I fish around in my laptop bag, and retrieve my AC Adapter, and plug it into the wall. 10 minutes later, a Starbucks person comes upstairs, and sees me shamelessly stealing power from them. She walks over to me.

Starbucks Excuse me, you’re going to need to unplug your laptop.
Me Pardon me?
Starbucks We have a policy of no power usage here.
Me Excuse me? Starbucks is the mobile office for thousands of executives.
Starbucks Maybe, but that’s our policy.
Me Thats the first time I’ve heard of it - I’ve been a loyal Starbucks customer for many years.
Starbucks It’s written right there, next to the door.

She pointed to a sign, written in Japanese pointing away from the door, which means it’s impossible to notice unless you enter, and then turn, and read the sign (in Japanese).

Me I can’t read that though, and it’s facing the wrong way.
Starbucks Sorry, thats the way it is.
Me I’m in the middle of some important work, I only need another 20 minutes.
Starbucks I’m sorry, I can’t allow that. It’s our policy.

Frustrated and angry, I unplugged my laptop, which quickly ran out of power. I stood up, and left Starbucks. STARBUCKS. SHITTING ON THE CUSTOMER SINCE 1971. Now, I prefer Tullys.

However this is fascinating study of the battle in Japan between "Customer Service", and "following the rules". Customer service is a very, very big part of Japanese culture. Following the rules is also a very important idea in Japanese culture. When a foreigner walks into a Japanese shop, these two ideals can often collide. Here is an example that was published in the JapanZine last week.

Unsuspecting Foreigner Hello, I like this hat. I need to get some money, can you hold this for me for 5 minutes? I’ll be right back.
Shop Attendant I’m sorry, thats impossible.
Unsuspecting Foreigner What?
Shop Attendant That’s against our rules.
Unsuspecting Foreigner uh, what?
Shop Attendant Sorry !

Almost any shop in America, whether it’s a local hat shop or a sprawling department store will happily keep your purchase secured for a few minutes while you wander off to find some money - whether it’s against the ‘rules’ or not.

Everyone living in Japan will come across this fascinating paradox between making the customer happy, and following the rules. Unfortunately sometimes in Japan common sense isn’t so common, so the customer is apologetically stepped on, while the shop staff maintains inflexible, pointless rules that only serve to irritate.